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Godivas hymn

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Melodi: “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” | “The Son of a Gambolier”

We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers,
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish forty beers,
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, and come along with us,
For we don’t give a damn for any damn man who don’t give a damn for us.

Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride,
To show to all the villagers her lovely bare white hide,
The most observant man on earth, an Engineer of course,
Was the only one who noticed that Godiva rode a horse.

She said, “I’ve come a long, long way and the man will go as far,
Who takes me off this God-damned horse and leads me to the bar.
The men who took her off the horse and stood her to a beer,
Were a bleary-eyed surveyor and a drunken Engineer.

My father was a miner on the upper malemute,
My mother was a hostess in a house of ill repute,
They kicked me out at a tender age and never shed a tear,
Get out of here you son-of-a-bitch, go join the Engineers.”

The Army and the Navy were out to have some fun,
Looking for a tavern where the firey liquors run,
All they found were empties, fur the Engineers had cone,
And traded all their instruments for gallon jugs of rum.

An Artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can,
Said the Artsman, “Match me drink for drink, and prove that you’re a man.”
They drank three drinks, the Artsman died, his face was turning green,
The Engineer drank on and cried, “It’s only gasoline”

I happened once upon a girl whose eyes were full of fire,
Her physical endowments would make your hands perspire,
To my great surprise, she said she had never been kissed,
For her boyfriend was a worn out Engineering Physist.

A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in the park,
The Engineer was busy doing research in the dark,
His scientific method was a wonder to observe,
His left hand took the readings while his right hand traced the curves.

Now Venus was a statue made entirely of stone,
There’s not a fig leaf on her, she is naked as a bone.
On seeing that her arms had gone, an Engineer discoursed,
==“Of course the damn thing is broken, concrete should be reinforced.”==

Sir Francis Drake and all his ships sailed up to Calais Bay,
‘Cause they had heared the Spanish rum fleet was headed up that way.
But the Engineers had beat them by a night and half a day.
And though they were tight as virgins, you could hear them say:

An Engineer once came to class so very drunk and late,
He was carrying a load that you would expect to ship by freight.
The only thing that held him up and kept him on his course,
Was the boundary conditions plus electromotive force.

Said the beauty to the Engineer, “My beer is getting warm.
Unless some more is brought to me, I’ll retire to the dorm.”
The Engineer said, “Go to hell, I’m not a money tree,
If you’re so goddamn thirsty, you can buy a beer for me”

My mother peddles opium, my father’s on the dole.
My sister used to walk the streets, but now she’s on parole.
My brother runs a restaurant with some bedrooms in the rear,
But I’m the black sheep of the lot, ‘cause I’m an Engineer.

Now Caesar went to Egypt at the age of fifty-three,
But Cleopatra’s blood was red, her heart was warm and free,
And every night when Caesar said good-bye at one o’clock,
A Roman Engineer was waiting just around the block.

After reading Kama Sutra he tried position nine,
For proving his virility it truly was divine.
One day he happened on a girl who threw him on his rear,
For he was a feeble artsie while she was an Engineer.

Godiva was a lady well-endowed there was no doubt.
She never wore a stich of clothes, just wound her hair about,
The first man ever made her was an Engineer of course,
But on one beer an artsie queer once made Godiva’s horse.

So now you’ve heard our story, and you know we’re Engineers,
And like all hearty fellows, we drink our whiskey clear.
We drink to every fellow who comes from far and near,
Cause we’re a hell-of-a hell-of-a hell-of-a hell-of-a hell-of-an Engineer.